Humans suck.

As mammals, we have the natural instinct and biological need to mate. To "love."
I don't think falling in love is a magically glorious moment in which you meet your "soulmate."
It's merely a matter of survival and picking the right berry for the juice.
We choose the strongest mate (could either be in the physical or intellectual sense) to have the higher probability of producing offspring, who have a better chance of survival. Seems crucial in a predator-centric world.
No matter what we do, that includes desperately trying to elevate our animalistic nature by calling mating "making love," our instincts are embedded in our nature whether we like it our not.
And that applies for other things.
"War on Terror."
"Religious cleansing."
 Putting a fancy word on something doesn't make it less barbarous.

Aftermath of "Summer Vacationing"

I don't know what is going on. I feel drowsy, bored and unmotivated from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. It can't be desperation because it is causing desperation. It doesn't make sense that something causes itself. Or does it?
It'll be a daunting vicious cycle that I can't break out of then.
All I know is that it's making me quite unhappy, the fact that I am unproductive and lazy. I don't feel tired half the time, yet I always manage to find a way to place myself in my bed and on my laptop, surrounded by chocolate wrappers, chips bags and guilt.
At brief moments where I say "ok, this is it! I will get up and do something," I soon find myself occupied with something else. It's quite disappointing. I feel like I am constantly disappointing myself. What's worse is that I am disappointing others, too. Yay me.
I have to admit that I thought this was a normal thing at first. But then I realized that I am becoming short-tempered and impatient with others. I fucked up my sleeping patterns, which meant that I only saw my family members if I was awake when they were, which was like, never.
Normal, some might think. I vouch to disagree.
Everything is normal until you start to feel bad about yourself.
The thing that's making me so upset about it is that I look back at the person I was a year ago, back in high-school, and I think what in the fucking hell happened? When did I become so lazy that I can't even draft a CV? When did I resent my extended family to the point where I'd cuss them out in front of them. Oh wait. I did used to do that.
That's not the point.
The point is, I need to throw all this negativity away or else it will become too overwhelming at some point that I won't be able to deal with it.
 I need to change. Right now.
Here's to change!